Ilsa Munro

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Biography in Brief

I have no idea who I am or how I came to be.

Oh, I don’t mean I’m suffering amnesia like some awful character from a penny dreadful. Simply that my entire existence seems to be more strongly affected by the laws of random chance than ought to be possible if one were adhering to the laws of random chance. Perhaps I provide a form of proof for Dr Einsteins assertion that “God does not play dice with the universe”.

Though I might also stand as a testament to Dr Schroendingers original statement for all of the same reasons.

How very random of me…

Either way, I am I - to borrow from Cervantes (or Messrs Darion and Leigh as I never could quite manage the book but have seen the theatrical production many times). Before taking up residence in the Highlands I wandered about the world haphazardly. It’s a fair accusation to say that I’m something of a clothes horse, and much of my first few weeks I actually “lived” just behind a fashion stage near a shop where I work to this day as a model. The owner wasn’t aware that it was possible for well intentioned vagrants such as myself to open packages there, so I would wander about collecting free or nearly free outfits, then scurry back to my warren behind the stage to unpack and try them on.

Ironically, I also made the brief acquaintance of Professor Sadovnycha, and worked very briefly as a “hench wench” at his academy on the mainland. You may recognize his name from the Caledon press - he’s proposed and is carrying out an expedition to the center of the earth. I say “ironically” because, after having fallen out of contact for many months, it turns out his launching point is directly adjacent to my house at Gargoyle Gardens in the Highlands.

Point for Dr Einstein.

From there I wandered to a lovely tropical setting – my plan was to simply sit on the beach, watch the waves, and listen to music, but of course nothing ever goes according to plan.

Point for Dr Schroedinger.

There I met some lovely people and got quite close to them. It was while shopping for shoes one day with one of them that I saw the heavenly hosts. Well, a host. And he wasn’t actually all that heavenly in nature really, in fact he was trying to track down his girl friend who was trying to track down the perfect shoes, but he was completely angelic in appearance. To this day I can’t imagine why I didn’t bother to take a single photograph at the time, but the impression was made. The wings, the halo, the brilliant shining armor. I had found my calling.

Perhaps we’ll grant both doctors a half point – one half for Dr S for the randomness of encountering an angel in a shoe store, but half a point for Dr E for the fact that it was an angel in a shoe store which bespeaks a certain amount of divine planning.

In any event, away I went to purchase wings.

I should state here that I truly did have the best of intentions...

Y’know, I could swear that I’ve heard that term before.

Where was I? Oh yes, I would don wings and halo and become a force of goodness and enlightenment, a shining beacon to all, marching side by side with my angelic brethren to face down the forces of darkness wherever they might be found.

Except…

It turns out that the forces of darkness have a much better color scheme for my complexion. And angelic wings really only come in varying sizes, with white and feathered as the dominant motif. Whereas on the dark side there are a variety of colors and styles and shapes and… Well… Damn me as it were.

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As photos will attest, I didn’t so much righteously rise to the lofty heights as I did casually browse to the infernal depths. Though my fall did have the added advantage of leading me to my current career of Doo Dad-ery.

Whilst outfitting myself for my demonic visage I realized that I absolutely HAD to have flames shooting out of my eyes. Despite scouring the entire world I was unable to find the proper potions, spells or rituals to achieve the desired effect. Finally I took it upon myself to learn the arcane crafts necessary to give myself a true smouldering gaze.

I shan’t lie to you, there were some curses involved - well, cursing - and many sacrifices were made (none of which can be proven in a court of law of course, and in any event, statistics show that more than 80% of new residents don’t stay for long so the odds are very good that no one would miss a few of them) but in the end I had the worst case of red eye in recorded history.

From there it was an obvious step to start selling my evil invention, and, much like my fall, once one starts, one is compelled to keep going, so I’m slowly and methodically building my collection of products.

Point to Dr E for my logical and relentless expansion.

Of course I’ve gone from demonic eyes, to face lighting, to a witchs broomstick and am currently working on harnessing the boundless power of the mighty atom itself!

Strictly for decorative purposes of course. A sort of WMDecoration to borrow from current events.

So a point to Dr S for the incomprehensibly random nature of what strikes my fancy.

So that’s me, more or less. For those of you keeping a tally of the cosmic balance as managed by my existence, it’s a dead tie.

I wonder if that means anything…

General Information

I currently reside... Well mainly in my workshop above Southend, or my workshop above Port Caledon. I've two businesses at the moment, Madgirl Munro located in Cape Wrath which specializes in things which have in common nothing more than my name on the creator plaque. Of late I've been concentrating more on Munro Imaginary Motors, which develops and markets assorted vehicles of varying levels of unlikelihood. Munro Imaginary Motors is headquartered in Port caledon with shops in raglan Shire, Planet Mongo, and coming very soon to Steam Sky City.


Business Concerns

Madgirl Munro, practical mad science which features products which defy easy categorization other than to say that they're packed with scripts and generally have lasers, flames, or similar special effects. The main location is found in Cape Wrath [1], with secondary shops appearing and disappearing throughout the grid like radiologically mutated mushrooms.

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